End of the Line
by andyjay18
Summary: All aboard for infinity and beyond.
1. All Aboard

Disclaimer 1: I don't own _Azumanga Daioh_, Kiyohiko Azuma does.

Disclaimer 2: But I am mad as a hatter.

"Wow, what a great concert!" Tomo cheered, jumping up and punching the air as the crowds filed out of the Tokyo Dome.

"We can't thank you enough, Kaorin," Chiyo added. "Minori Chihara is such a cool singer!"

"Hey, Konata here was the one who bought the tickets," Kaorin answered. "I know she can seem a bit high-strung, and she's kind of an otaku, but…you don't mind having her around, do you? After all, she lives way out in Saitama Prefecture, so since we've been dating I haven't had time to see you guys as much."

"Hey, if she can get us tickets to May'n and Animelo like she said, we'll be glad to count her as part of our group!" Tomo exclaimed.

"Tomo, please!" Yomi scolded, smacking her on the shoulder. "Quit taking advantage of people like that!"

"Hey Kaorin, are you coming?" called the short, blue-haired girl.

"Coming, Kona-chan!" Kaorin answered. "Well, see you guys Monday!"

The others bade Kaorin farewell as she ran toward Konata's dad's waiting car.

"Really, Tomo," Yomi continued. "You shouldn't make it sound like the only reason we want her around is because she has a lot of money from working in a cosplay café."

"Don't you think it's nice that Kaorin managed to move on from Sakaki after…you know?" Chiyo responded. "And you have to feel sorry for Konata too, after two of her best friends were killed. Their grief was how they bonded after they met at Comiket, after all. That, and, well, they're both crazy about that _Marimite _anime." I'll have to ask Osaka what that one's about later, she thought.

"Man, that was awkward about Sakaki," Osaka drawled in response. "Do ya'll think she'll ever be the same?"

"Hmm, I don't know," answered Tomo. "But c'mon, guys, I was just trying to be grateful about her taking us to the concert and all."

"Well, just try to be more tactful in the future," Chiyo replied.

Osaka's face turned slightly ominous. "That Konata's from Saitama Prefecture? Y'all don't think she knew those girls killed in the murder-suicide in Washimiya last fall, do ya?"

Yomi shivered slightly, the way she often did when Osaka adopted "that" look in her eye. "I don't know…" she said.

"Guyyyyys!!!" Tomo pleaded, bouncing around the train station concourse even more frantically than usual. "You gotta wait for me! My bladder's gonna explode!"

"I told you not to order that extra-large soda!" Yomi shouted.

"But I needed the extra sugar and caffeine so Minorin could hear me yelling her how much I love her!"

"Please. There were about 30,000 other people there tonight. Do you really think—Hey!" Yomi followed Tomo into the ladies' room. "Dammit Tomo, the train is pulling into the station right now! This is the last one of the night! I swear, you really…"

"Oh my God, Chiyo, should we get on without them?" gasped Osaka.

"Yomi has our tickets!" Chiyo told her.

"Now boarding at Track 3, Train No. 18 to Higashimurayama via Port Chester, Old Greenwich…whoops, wrong list, via Ikebukuro, Shakuji-koen, and Tomobiki-cho. Please stand clear of the closing doors."

"Ahh! That's _much_ better!" Tomo exclaimed as she emerged from the restroom, stretching her arms out in an exaggerated pose. "Hey, why're you guys all glaring at me like that?"

"Because you made us miss our train, you moron!" Yomi snapped, veins bursting from her temples. "Now how are we supposed to get home?"

"But the bathrooms at the Tokyo Dome were so crowded!" Tomo whined. "Plus public restrooms are always nasty!"

"Well, you just went in one, didn't you?" muttered Yomi. "Well, we might as well call our parents. They'll sure be pissed when we…"

"Hey, look," Osaka remarked, pointing to a train schedule on the wall. "Looks like there's one more train in about 10 minutes.

"Funny, it isn't listed in my fold-out schedule," said Chiyo.

"We can ask the conductor if the train is stopping at our station," Yomi answered. "Besides, we all got round-trip tickets, so we might as well use them."

The four girls sat on a platform bench, watching for the train to arrive.

Yomi sighed. "Are you sure about this, Osaka? There's no one else waiting, it's late, and…"

"Now arriving on Track 3, Train No. 42." Sure enough, a headlight shone down the tracks into their faces, and their ride pulled in.

Chiyo blinked. The train consisted of just a single railcar, something she had only seen on rural rail lines. She didn't know much about trains, but this one also looked like an older model. That, plus the late hour lent a mysterious air to this.

"Well, c'mon, Chiyo-chan, Osaka. Do you want to spend the night here or what?" asked Yomi, getting on.

"Coming," the two answered.

"Wow," Osaka breathed. "I don't think they've produced these models since the mid-'60s or so."

Before getting on, Chiyo took one last look. Was it just her imagination, or did the form of the train car seem to almost be wavering, liquid; as if it were underwater?

Where are we really going, she wondered as the doors closed behind her.

Yes, the mental patient who brought you "Bizarre Love Triangle" is back to take on _Azumanga Daioh_. Don't worry; no perverts or rape in this story; just good, clean, psychedelic fun. I'm kind of a train fan, as you might've guessed, and the idea for this story kinda developed with Osaka wondering what's at the end of the train line. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going to go with this one, or if I'll even finish it; I just know it's going to be surreal and nonsensical in the _Hitchhiker's Guide_ tradition. This chapter had a slight reference to UKFFFan's YouTube video "The Future of the Girls of Azumanga Daioh", as well as my Lucky Star story "Bizarre Love Triangle".

Anyway, tell me what you think and we'll see how things turn out.


	2. Yard Limit

_Attention travelers. _Azumanga Daioh_ was created by Kiyohiko Azuma, who earlier created some hentai manga. We would also like to remind you that the best way to fully experience this story is to listen to Kraftwerk's "Trans-Europe Express" beforehand. Now please sit back, relax, keep your seat backs in an upright position, close the cover before striking, and enjoy the story._

"Why haven't they announced our stop yet?" Yomi wondered. "It's been about the time that it usually takes to get there."

"I can't see anything out the window," answered Chiyo. Sure enough, although it was night, they would have expected to at least see the lights of the city flashing by. And she hadn't noticed them passing through a tunnel.

"Say, who are those guys?" asked Osaka, suddenly glancing around.

"What guys?" answered Tomo. "Except for us, this train is emp…" Sure enough, as if emerging from the shadows of the dimly lit car, they could make out the forms of large men in the other seats. Their forms and colors gradually came into focus, as if a rheostat were being turned up.

"I c-could've s-sworn this train was empty when we got on," stammered Chiyo, shaking visibly. They seemed to be large men, albeit shrouded in large, billowing yellow trench coats, topped with floppy gray fedoras. As their color started to come more into view, it took on an almost unearthly yellow hue that hurt everyone's eyes to look at it directly.

"Ughh, guys in trench coats," Yomi muttered. "You don't suppose they're…perverts, do you?"

"Well, that's why I'm giving you the aisle seat," Tomo replied, sticking out her tongue. Yomi responded by moving further in, crushing Tomo against the window.

"Your fat ass is protecting me from them," Tomo further taunted. Yomi pressed her against the window harder.

"Tickets please, tickets please," announced the conductor, a short, thin, elderly man dressed in an old-fashioned conductor's uniform.

"Umm, a question, sir," Yomi began as the conductor punched her ticket. "Where exactly is this train going? It's been about 30 minutes now and I haven't seen our stop, or any stop since the Tokyo Dome for that matter."

"Stops?" gasped the conductor. "Well sorry missy, but I think you're on the wrong train. No stops here till the end of the line."

"Higashimurayama?" Yomi replied.

"Not even close, I'm afraid."

"Somewhere in Saitama Prefecture, then?" Yomi continued. The conductor shook his head. "Gunma?"

The conductor sighed but didn't change his facial expression. "Young lady, this train is going to the edge of the universe."

The girls all began firing questions at him. "No way!" "Is that even possible?" "Are you sure?" Meanwhile the men in the yellow coats just sat there, quietly mumbling amongst themselves.

"Really," exclaimed Chiyo. "How can a train, umm…travel through space?"

"There are…ways," answered the conductor, punching a coated man's ticket. "But it would take ever so much time to explain (lot of quantum physics involved), and as you can see, I'm a busy man. One thing though; God _does _play dice, and pretty well at that."

"B-but what are we supposed to do?"

"Don't worry, missy. These things happen once in a while. We'll try and get things sorted out at the end of the line." He continued down the aisle, punching tickets.

Her heart thudding with panic, Chiyo glanced over at Osaka. She was surprised (but not too surprised) to see her wearing her normal placid smile. "Osaka-san, aren't you a bit worried about this? How are we going to get back? Does this weird train turn around or anything? And what'll our parents think if we're back late?"

Osaka casually turned to her, as if they were just going to Chiyo's beach house again. "I guess I'm a little worried," she replied. "But I've always wondered what the edge of the universe might look like. And somehow I feel like we'll find our way back somehow."

Chiyo kept Osaka's words in mind as the train rushed along. Eventually the thoughts rushing through her mind made her sleepy, and she gradually drifted off to the sounds of the train's wheels clacking over the tracks. Her last thoughts were, But what are the tracks sitting on?

"Next stop, end of the line!" announced the conductor's voice. "Everybody off!"

How long had she been asleep? Chiyo groggily opened her eyes, but was shortly forced to shut them again. The only thing to see outside the windows was white. As her eyes adjusted, a station platform slid up alongside them. The brakes gave a _fsssseeeee fronnnnnng_ noise as the train came to a halt.

The edge of the universe, Chiyo thought. And we got there by train. Her mind struggled to grasp such a concept.


End file.
